I tried to focus on what was left of the tooth. I also took a photo of the chunk that came out. That's the last time I'm ever eating Milk Duds. My dentist responded to my text quickly. A few days later, I was sitting in her dentist's chair, having an impression taken for a crown. I had to miss an IEP meeting.
I asked my dentist if she had been affected by the recent mass shooting in her town. She and her husband were about to walk the few blocks when they heard loud bangs. At first, it sounded like a vehicle backfiring. Then came a PSA from the city. Right away, they began texting family and friends, to assure and to be reassured.
The shooter had a history of mental illness. With the apparent help of a member of his family, he was able to purchase the gun legally. Questions abounded: Had his mental problems been addressed? Why did a relative give him permission to purchase a gun? What does this tragedy say about our area and our country?
Granted, gun violence is on the list of current concerns. So are global warming and Russia's war in Ukraine. If it isn't the second coming of fascism, it's the proverbial frog in the water. Except, it isn't completely proverbial. Sometimes we actually are in the water, with rising sea levels, massive snow falls, and monsoons.
Meanwhile, the planet continues to spin on its axis and orbit the sun, slowly losing momentum as it flies. The sun is gradually burning itself dark. At some point, we'll be swallowed by the nearest available black hole. I guess that's a very long time off. Way beyond the one hundred and twenty, or sixty, or ninety years we've been allotted.
I prefer not to think about annihilation in a black hole, tanks in the Donbas, chunks of arctic ice breaking off, the second amendment, or the perpetrator and victims of a pointless shooting. I prefer not to think about my tooth and will stop thinking about it once the permanent crown is glued in place. I lean over the railing of our back stair and look at the garden. If I were Darwin, the colors and aromas would appear all in a Malthusian shambles: a vista of death. I focus on the glorious hibiscus, the milk weed finally flowering, and a small blue butterfly taking in the scene before it flies off to share its findings with its kind.
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